Reflection

Today I began reading a new book to our oldest daughter called Caddie Woodlawn. The book is written by Carol Ryrie Brink and just two chapters in, we're finding it a delightful book to read (as 99% of the books that are part of the Sonlight Curriculum have been).

An interesting comment by the author in her note to the readers caught my attention. She said,

Caddie was still alive while I was writing, and I sent many letters to her, asking about the details that I did not remember clearly. She was pleased when the book was done. "There is only one thing that I do not understand," she said. "You never knew my mother and father and my brothers- how could you write about them exactly as they were?"

"But Gram," I said, "you told me."

That really struck me because I believe the phenomenon of knowing someone can absolutely occur without having actually met the person "in real life" as we say. As I read the blogs of those I frequent, I truly begin to feel that I know these ladies. You might feel this way about me, 'tho admittedly, I struggle with being completely transparent. That runs the risk of you seeing things that you won't like about me or seeing things that I don't like about me. There's also the fact that this is a very public forum allowing anyone to read & "know" me... the internet safety issues abound. So those who know me in real life are getting another glimpse into who I am. Those of you who don't, you're just getting a peek. ;) But I digress...

Some of you know that my good-man-Charlie-Brown was diagnosed with hypothyroidism over a year ago. In fact, our doctor now believes that his thyroid is in the process of completely shutting down. You can google hypothyroidism to find out all the gory details but on the living side of this disease is extreme fatigue. The extreme fatigue comes with a multitude of other symptoms that are tough to live. My Charlie-Brown can actually say that he knows what a woman pms'ing feels like. While that makes him understanding to my pms'ing days, I would never wish that on someone.

So I've been feeling pretty sorry for myself the last few days. Charlie-Brown is struggling with being tired all of the time and quite frankly, it's hard for him to not be grumpy. Grumpiness can be a vicious circle. Because he's grumpy, I respond with equal grumpiness which produces further grumpiness on his part. You see the circle? And because he's so doggone tired, things *I* want done aren't. I struggle with patience and grace when the to-do list is longer than I can complete.

My house is in disarray after just installing new laminate flooring. The floor is beautiful and we're THRILLED with that. But there's woodwork EVERYWHERE with brad nails to be removed so it can be re-installed. The door frames are OFF (doors too of course) and all stacked here & there. There's a mound of clean laundry in the middle of my living room floor right now! It's waiting for a folding party. We were going to do that while watching American Idol tonight-- didn't happen. There's a mound of dirty laundry in the doorway of our classroom waiting for another portion to make the trek to the washer. It was piled there when we cleared the laundry room for the new floor. Now that room looks beautiful and I refuse to live with a mound back there. Ha! The mound just moved! I fully intend to conquer it! I DO! REALLY!

I did paint the stairwell tonight while dinner was cooking. I'm still optimistic at heart... always! But, optimism doesn't always squelch self-pity.

Then I ran across the link to another blog. It was a prayer request for the family of one of the members of the Christian group, Selah. You should read it for yourself and I recommend going to the beginning of the blog (oldest post- January 12, 2008) and reading it chronologically forward. You will cry. Your heart will break. You will also be blessed and will have your soul stirred by the moving of the Holy Spirit. Bring The Rain is here.

Sometimes it takes being reminded that your own problems might be small in comparison to what another is facing in their own daily life. Some are just struggling to pull their feet out of bed in the morning. Some like this family are suffering under a tremendous load of grief that threatens to undo them.

I have much more to say but this is enough for now. I'll munch on the rest for a while longer. Really... go check out that blog... see if you're not deeply moved. I know that I will continually be bringing Todd & Angie before The Lord as often as they come to mind.