Since you're peeking in...

I thought I should alert you to the fact that I'm a little strange (as if you hadn't already noticed!). LOL One of my favorite comedy routines was by a Christian comedian popular in the 80's named Mike Warneke. He pointed out that what is strange to a strange person is normal to a normal person. And what is normal to a strange person is strange to a normal person. Mr. Warneke delivered it with great humor. But it's so true.



It occurred to me the last couple of days that grief and I don't form a normal picture. At least, not what *I* think is normal.

To the onlooker... looking from the outside... it may appear that I am cold and stoic. In fact, I am quite the opposite. I'm a very sympathetic and sensitive person... too much so at times. For some reason, when facing loss and the resulting grief, I go into a shock state for a while. Maybe it's not shock. Possibly it is denial. Or could it be a combination of the two? No matter, it takes a while for the full influence of grief to hit me.

The really annoying thing is that it usually hits me at very inconvenient times. You know, like while driving. It's not really conducive to safe driving methods to suddenly burst into shuddering sobs. Or in the middle of the grocery store! Now that's just not pretty! Thankfully, my good-man-Charlie-Brown does the grocery shopping (he can stick to the budget better than I ;) ). While playing the piano for a church service... not dangerous but extremely annoying. Breaking down in any public place is humbling to say the least.



I can think back to the losses in my life and see this pattern flawlessly marking my life. Sometimes it's hours. Sometimes it is days. At some point, the dam breaks and it all floods out in a torrential, rushing... blubbering... snotty mess!!

Yet, when it happens to others... I don't think them strange. Not in the least. In fact, I find it difficult, if not impossible, to restrain myself from wrapping my arms around the person and lending my shoulder (small as it may be) for them to snot on. I mean... I have children... it's not the first time I've had snot deposited on my shirt. I'm sure it won't be the last. If you need sympathy or a shoulder, I'm your girl!

And I WON'T think you strange. On the contrary, you're quite normal... because... after all, what's strange to a normal person is normal to a strange person! It's true! Think about it!