Wednesday Without Words

© 2010
All images property of Jodie L Hemersbach
Do not copy, capture, print or steal.

Do Over

My Sailor-man & I have entered into a new stage of parenting called "Parenting teenagers". We entered this stage with our knee pads strapped on tightly. We know they'll help ward off the ache and pain that comes from spending much time down on our knees. Suddenly, we don't have the same amount of cushion around those joints that we used to. Bummer! Hopefully, no medication will be required to bring us out of this stage! (I jest!... hopefully!)

Months ago, I came across a piece of wisdom from another parent who has successfully survived parenting four teenagers across these churning seas. They explained their greatest tool- the DO OVER.

It makes sense. During this heightened time of change, our children are trying to become adults. It comes with much trial and error. And one of the areas that seems to be universally difficult is communication. The child now stretches his arms and attempts to express his own ideas. The problem is that they don't always express themselves in a manner that is truly "adult". When it comes down to it, some adults are still struggling to express themselves with maturity. So how can we expect them to get it right the first time? They need practice. And so...
the DO OVER!

Our teenager's failed attempt to express herself has a natural tendency to produce a response that might sound something like this: "How DARE you talk to me that way? I brought you into this world and I'll take you OUT!" (hahaha... I loved The Cosby Show! Do you remember that episode where Bill Cosby tells Theo that? Hilarious!) And of course, what this produces in an already explosive set of hormones is worse than the original failed attempt. Typically, fires flare up like wild fire and before you know it, someone is running for the closest fire extinguisher. It's not pretty.

But with this great tool called the DO OVER, a parent can simply remain calm and grant this "adult-in-the-making" a DO OVER. There are many ways to successfully activate the DO OVER. You can be long winded..."I understand you're trying to explain yourself but that wasn't the best manner in which to do it. How about a DO OVER?" This is good when you're feeling patient, having a great day, and in a nothing-can-make-me-mad mood. BUT! The DO OVER also works in a short version... "How about a DO OVER?" or simply "Wait. DO OVER." This is good when your day hasn't gone so well, you've next to no patience left, and you feel your blood pressure rising rapidly. Just take that one quick breath needed to get "DO OVER" from the tongue and past the lips.

And even better...
There are NO LIMITS to the DO OVER! I mean... this isn't baseball where it's three strikes and youuuuuuu'rrrrrrreeeeee OUT!
NOPE!
You can give as many DO OVERS as needed.

What a wonderful gem!
Give it a try!

© 2009
All images property of Jodie L Hemersbach
Do not copy, capture, print or steal.



P.S. DO OVERS don't have age limits either! They're like Roll-over minutes! They never expire!

Sharing Humor

And without hearing,
I'll bet you still felt it.
And then you smiled too.

Happy Heart

Life is Hard

Earnest Hemingway once said that when you're having a hard time writing, start with one true statement.

Life is hard.

It is just simply hard.

Life has no respect for stages.
It is hard to be an infant and to be completely reliant on others for your needs. That is especially difficult for the neglected, abused and abandoned.
It is hard to be a child (although I rather relish my childhood as a time when life was easy). But there is a struggle to conform and comply without complete understanding.

It is terribly difficult to be a teenager- excruciating! No money in the world could get me to relive those years. The only value in that would be to correct the many mistakes I made. It is a time caught between childhood and adulthood that my own father has coined "the inhuman stage".
It is not easy to be a college student with the demand of decisions, assignments and responsibilities weighing you down. And the burden is further augmented by the constant reminder that "the direction of your life is dependent on the decision you make".

And then the school of "Real Life" looms ahead. And the twenty something stands at its gate armed with all the education packed in their bag and the misconception that they now "know how" (at least, that's what I thought). Why do we not warn them that they may have mastered the art of education but they are now beginners again as they enter this thing called "Real Life"? Life does not conform to text books. It just does NOT!

And truthfully, we never stop being beginners in this thing we call life.

I have not yet reached the latter years of life expectancy but one thing I am sure of is that life will continue to be hard. And as one who has always been rather independent, I've no doubt that an elderly return to dependency will not be easy.

Life is hard!! It's extremely hard.

And I've struggled with keeping up this blog for that very reason.
To open the curtains and allow others to peek in my window requires a willingness to be somewhat vulnerable. And life is already difficult without allowing others to look in.
And I don't want to sound like a constant dripping. I know all too well how whining can wear on the nerves. We need optimism and hope.
And quite frankly, my life is none of your business. You have your own life to deal with.
By opening my window, I become vulnerable to your opinions, your assumptions and possibly your criticism. Life is already hard enough.
We need camaraderie.

And as much as I have an aversion to being criticized, judged or looked poorly upon... and as often as I feel like locking the windows and closing the curtains... somehow, I still have this deep compelling urge to open the curtains (if only a crack) and unlock the window so that you can peek inside. So that you can see that indeed, my life is hard too.

Our family sits on the uncertainty of job security in an industry traveling through bankruptcy courts. And our cushion is a budget squeezed to choking (a product of our own decisions- mistakes and all). We're uncomfortable and yet we gain wisdom. We're concerned and even scared and yet we gain confidence. We're angry and yet we gain grace... compassion... understanding.

Because when I look around me I see a true statement:

Life is Hard.




For me, only one thing remains constant...
I cannot be separated from the Love of God.
-Romans 8:35-39

Abated.

So... I've been paying close attention to the current events of the day, as are you. I hear the media (bleh!), do my own research (often disputing the talking heads) and shake my head. I don't want to be an alarmist, but I am alarmed! Nor do I wish to fall into some category of "kooky conspiracy theorist", but shall I be so naive as to believe there's not an abundance of deception in the events of our world today? No. I think that belief would lack all manner of discernment.

These are difficult times. More layoffs in our area have targeted people I love dearly. It is frightening... uncertain... VERY stressful. And while we're concentrating on our daily struggles, our government seems to be sneaking around behind our backs. Truly! I won't list them all here... if you go nibbing around the internet, you'll find it all. But I have to say that there's very little, if anything, in that giant "stimulus bill" that will add one penny to our pockets. (Forgive me... I'm a busy mom & I haven't reached the end of those 1000+ pages... I think it's something like 1464 pages and I'm not to page 50 yet!!) Seriously! Do you know how many dollars that $800 tax break will add to our pockets? It's a joke! Did you fall for it?

And I'm done with the whole democrat-republican thing. REALLY DONE!! Don't ask me which I support because I no longer support either based on their "camp". D.O.N.E. Just give me one upstanding, honest, ethical American who cares about this country more than any label! (Ok... that's just one among many of my wishes) No more politically correct letters for me thanks! I don't do gagging and vomit sends me RUNNING!

I'm not just alarmed. And I'm not just skeptical. I am ANGRY! I am angry that the people I love.. friends and family alike... who have worked HARD... who go to work everyday,- get their hands dirty- engage in hours of hard physical labor, -pay their bills (& their taxes!) - are being thrown in the mud. I am ANGRY that our American soldiers are risking, and some losing, their lives for FREEDOM while our greedy, dirty politicians are taking FREEDOMS away from Americans. ANGRY!!!! FURIOUS!!!

Oh! And don't forget to pay YOUR taxes lest you be thrown in jail... unless, of course, you are a person of prominence. But wait! Martha Stewart went to prison... hmmmm... guess she didn't have the right connections. Sorry Martha. I guess you're more like the rest of us than you'd probably like to believe.

Sigh....

And then I go to tuck my kiddos into bed this evening...

We're still answering lots of questions about what happens to our animals when they die. LOTS of deep thinking goes on in this house. That makes me happy because my desire is that my children learn HOW TO THINK FOR THEMSELVES. They must! And when it comes to matters of faith, it is imperative that they think for themselves - absolutely IMPERATIVE!

I tend not to give answers... rather, I ask more questions. I ask them to share their ideas. Eventually, I do share my thoughts and what I believe are the "answers" to their questions. Sometimes I don't know the answer to their question- and I tell them that too. We talk about the possibilities and we discuss what we DO know. Often, we resolve to look into a matter further. I LOVE learning! I hope they catch that love too.

But I stray...

Tonight the conversation was deeply thought provoking... profoundly so for an eight year old and a ten year old. They were very engaging. The conversation ended with a request to read about Jesus' birth tomorrow. (I swear the Spirit danced within me!) Of course!

"Night-night... sleep tight.... don't let the bed bugs bite.... "

I quietly made my way downstairs and immediately sought my Sailor-man. I had to share our conversation with him... even if he was almost in dream-land. He never begrudges me for such things. (He's awesome!)

Suddenly, two little girls appear. They want to know if they can read their Bible before they go to sleep. (Yep! The angels rejoice- I think I heard them!) I had a better idea... we didn't wait until tomorrow to read their requested passages. They even wanted to hear both accounts of Jesus' birth (Matthew & Luke).

Abated....

"For he, the Mighty One, is holy, and he has done great things for me.
His mercy goes on from generation to generation, to all who fear him."
-from Luke 1:46-55

And for my friends and family, whom I love dearly!!!! - We're in this mess together! I am praying continually!

"So I tell you, don't worry about everyday life- whether you have enough food to eat or clothes to wear. For life consists of far more than food and clothing. Look at the ravens. They don't need to plant or harvest or put food in barns because God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to HIM than any birds! ...

...And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won't he more surely care for you?" - from Luke 12:22+

Ten Years!

Ten years ago today, She-with-once-skinned-knees (also fondly known as, The Suit), insisted on exiting the womb 4 weeks ahead of schedule.

Life was waiting folks!
She was not to be deterred!
She had a LOT of living to do!

Today marks 10 years of her wonderful determination, courage and brains!

Today marks 10 years of sensitive compassion, quiet thoughtfulness and sweet affection.

You bring so much joy to our life!
We're so proud of the person you are
and we love you so very much!
Happy Birthday Sweetheart!

A Team Effort

We're back from another family camping trip!!

We LOVE camping! It's a great way to spend time together as a family.


Camping is a family tradition that my own family had growing up. We spent at least one whole week out of every summer camping on the shores of Seventh Lake, located just outside Inlet, NY. The very special part of camping on Seventh Lake is that the state owned sites are boat (or hiking) accessible only. There are no roads leading in... no modern restrooms... no electricity... only two pit toilets located near the 2 sites with lean-to's (meaning you dig your own hole if you camp at any of the other sites)... it's truly CAMPING!!

I have the BEST memories from those family camping trips. It's one of my favorite places to be and someday I hope to take my girls there too.

But after our 3 day camping trip to Raccoon Lake, here in Indiana, something important has occurred to me. Camping is truly a TEAM EFFORT!!! That's the only way that I can imagine my mother ever got us there with all the necessary supplies for survival. We always had enough food & drinks for the week. We always had the right clothes. We always had toilet paper... ALWAYS!!!

And when I consider the preparations, the planning, the packing and foresight that mom had to have, I am in awe of her skills! (There were no Walmarts nearby folks!) While Mom & Dad always held to the motto that "we are a team" and Chad & I were always given tasks to pitch in on the work, I realize now that Chad & I didn't carry the "heavy end" of that load. NO indeed!

We were able to go on those wonderful family camping trips because Mom and Dad were... and are... a TEAM. They are a beautiful example of marriage. They work TOGETHER. They each SHARE the load. Mom worked hard to prepare for camping. And Dad didn't come home from his day job, plop down on the couch and expect her to wait on him... nope. He pitched in too. They WORKED TOGETHER. There was never his and hers - never! Not in jobs and not in possessions. It will always be OURS in their book.

And so we went camping this week and worked TOGETHER as a family. We drove in to our camp site and used the modern restrooms nearby (not quite the same as my ideal camping trip to Seventh Lake) but... We did the work TOGETHER and then we played TOGETHER.


Today is Mom & Dad's 38th wedding anniversary. And today I am so very thankful for my parents and their wonderful example to Chad & I then... and to us, our spouses and children now.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY Mom & Dad! We LOVE YOU TONS!!!




P.S. I would be remiss not to wish my mother and father-in-law a HAPPY ANNIVERSARY also. Today they celebrate their 49th wedding anniversary.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

(... some day I'll tell you readers about my good-man-Charlie-Brown's & my weird number thing ;) )

Rockin'!!

Last night we took the girls to a ROCK Concert!

We drove an hour with our tailgate down on the truck... never losing a single chair. We purchased seats on the lawn of the Verizon Music Center and thought we came prepared. Security informed us that chairs only 9" or smaller (think beach chair) were allowed. So we prepared ourselves to just enjoy the lawn. We paid a pretty penny to see this concert and were not to be deterred by the possibility of rain nor the prospect of grass stain.

We found a decent spot on the lawn and settled in. Another security officer appeared and hollered in my ear (it was a ROCK concert folks... think LOUD!) that we could move forward into the seats up to a certain mark. Hesitate?? NO WAY! We promptly found a great spot in the seats!


Even Bluebird & Ducky came along (they got in free you know!!! Flew in, I'm told!)



What a blast! It was four and a half hours of great Christian rock bands!

Jars of Clay!


R.Randolph and The Family Band!

We'd never actually heard of this band before but completely enjoyed them. Amazingly talented! We even came home with their newest cd!

They were followed by Switchfoot.

Crazy, wild but completely passionate!

Switchfoot fans... name that song... ;)


The girls were in to it!! Rockin!



And last, the band that drew us to this awesome gathering....

THIRD DAY!



But the really COOL thing..
...really awesome thing...
....the thing that the wagging fingers don't understand (they're too busy wagging those critical fingertips)...

WORSHIP!!


There was prayer!

There was fellowship!

There was sharing... a message!

There was Worship!

Hymns even (with electric guitars, drums, singing & dancing)...

But the most important thing was ... the presence of the LORD! All else paled to His Presence.

No boundary lines drawn by denominations or theology or doctrine
Rather a gathering of people with a common love for Jesus, Lord of my heart,...King of Glory!

It was ROCKIN'!!!!



P.S. I've never seen a crowd that size exit a packed... PACKED parking lot in such a civilized manner. I pray the Lord's Glory seeped out of that place last night! :)

Fragile

A young teenage boy is riding his bicycle. To where? I don't know. Apparently listening to his ipod, he was possibly in his own world with a favorite song in his ear. It was a great summer day for a bike ride. And then....

...he crossed the road without looking... or listening. In a moment- gone!

A man is going about his afternoon doing his job, I imagine. He's driving a heavy tri-axle dump truck loaded with gravel. Tons of gravel. I don't know what stresses his daily life holds but I know the nature of life. They are there. It was a great summer day even if he had to be working. And then....

...a boy on a bicycle turns right into the path of his truck. In a moment! There's no time to stop, 'tho he tries. The truck screeches and leaves a black path of rubber before stopping in a soy bean field.

It's not the opening for a novel. It's a true story that transpired just yesterday afternoon. It was around 2:30. The girls and I were checking out some groceries at our local small town IGA. We heard the sirens from the fire house across the street. Looking out the glass windows that are the front of the store, the cashier and I saw several emergency vehicles go screaming around the corner heading south. Both of us were concerned. Something told me that whatever call for help they were answering was BAD. The cashier expressed the same concern. I told her that it causes me to pray hard. She agreed.

As we pulled out of the parking lot, I glanced down the road headed south and saw the lights south of town. That feeling still lingering... it's BAD.

Today we got hay. We purchase hay from a gentleman who has become a dear friend to us. He and his family are wonderful people who are like extended family to us. He asked if our girls rode their bikes much... "yep"... "On the road?"... "no. Around the yard and on the driveway.".... He was sitting at the intersection waiting to turn when the boy crossed right in front of the gravel truck. A witness to that horrific event. He did not sleep well last night. Shaken to the depths of his soul is not an exaggeration.

Fragile.

Life is so very fragile.

In a moment, EVERYTHING can change.

Yesterday, our sweet Hair-Tied-In-Knots was pushing a bicycle over a landscape timber.. just to get it to the other side so she could ride it. It bounced up and attacked her. Her poor sweet smile was now covered in blood. I still don't understand how that thing did the damage that it did to her mouth. It was just one of those things... a freak thing, I guess. But she's now worried about smiling and someone seeing her bloodied, torn up gums. Her teeth are sore and she suffered some chips. It hurt and still hurt my mommy heart... and Gram's heart... and GDude's heart... and Daddy's heart --- Probably not as much as her mouth hurts. But chipped and bloody... we still have her here with us.

Oh Lord! Be quick to comfort that boy's family! Give them peace that ONLY You can give. Be with that man who was driving. Be with our dear friend who witnessed the accident. Give them Peace... Comfort... and Your Love!

It was a great summer day!

In a moment...

FRAGILE!!

Leaving a Mark

Traversing my way over to Aunt Jackie's blog this morning, I found this post for today. So funny!! And of course, as we already knew... she's NOT ALONE!! So I thought I share what is probably one of my biggest & funniest "DUH!" moments too.

It happened on a vacation to Cape Cod. I was invited to go along with my childhood bff, Dawn, and her family. I'd never been to Cape Cod before and it was great fun to be shown all of their favorite sights. They also treated me to clam chowder like I've never had before or since.

The beach, of course, was where a majority of our time was spent.

On this particular trip to the beach, the tide was out and we were enjoying walking along the quiet beach looking for treasures left behind by the retreating waters. That was when I saw them.... ARROWS!!

Yep! I was absolutely fascinated by these arrows. They were all uniform and lined up one after the other. And they seemed to go one way... until I noticed another line of arrows coming from another direction and crossing the line I was currently following. (Gosh! Sounds like I am a dog... doesn't it!!)

At this point, I piped up and said, "Gosh! Who made all of these arrows on the beach?"


Laughter followed!! MUCH LAUGHTER!!!

Bird tracks!!!

DUH!!!!

Aunt Jackie is right... it must be genetic.

I will likely never live that down! That and... "Bees eat the woodwork?" (but that's another story! ;) )

Summer!

Simple Things

On June 4th, 1994, Jason and I stood before the Lord, our family and friends and tied our lives together in marriage.

That day, 14 years ago, was a beautiful day in upstate NY. Yesterday was a beautiful day in Indiana. My Good-Man-Charlie-Brown took the day off for our anniversary. We decided to take the girls and the puppy and go hiking.



It really, truly is the simple things in life that make me happy. Just being together as a family doing nothing fancy. We had hoped for hiking in the woods but found the trail we picked was mainly on the prairie. On the plus side, there were less mosquitoes in the fields than in the woods.

I couldn't have asked for a better day. I told Jason that I really am happy with the simple things. He doesn't need to shower me with fancy gifts. He didn't need to take me to take me to a fancy restaurant (I'm odd, I know... but I just don't enjoy restaurant eating- period).

Spend the day with me. Be together. Grab a bite- nothing fancy. Relax. Enjoy each other's company. Listen to the kids. Watch them discover and learn together.
They're a great looking crew... my good man and our girls... don't you think?

It was a perfect way to celebrate us.

Simple things!



PS- I think I should be able to claim "low maintenance" status, don't you? ;) Well... ok... there is chocolate!