Facebook: A Blessing and A Curse!

Facebook.

It is a strange and wonderful social realm.
The social platform has allowed me to reconnect with old friends. We can once again, engage in a form of daily friendship across great distances.
Of course, it truly only provides a glimpse of our lives but
friends are able to be encouraging and supportive to each other, even if only in words and prayer.
I love being able to pray for my friends and often very specifically
for them in daily circumstances.

But there's also a cursed side to facebook.
Any number of things, from ignored friendship requests to social inflammations, can very quickly throw one into a sense of being socially ostracized.
It is easy to forget that the typed word lacks vocal intonation and find yourself smack in the middle of an ugly exchange of words. (I blame my excessive use of emoticons on this.)
I've been told there are unspoken social "rules"- especially within the younger generations (highschoolers & college-aged).
What can I say?
I am a rebel.
I've never been good with social "rules" and some of the "rules" are downright idiotic.
Attempting a coup on accountability and responsibility doesn't fly with me and does nothing toward encouraging a new generation to be effective in society.
I stand against that and refuse to conform.

Then there are applications.
Oh yes!
The applications!!!
The latest application to show its face on my wall is an application called "Friend FAQ".
The premise is that one of my friends answered a question about me.
So I click the application and find a list of questions that the people on my friend list have answered about me.
The questions range from things like "Is Jodie cute?" to "Does Jodie dress well?" to "Do you think Jodie sleeps with a teddy bear?" to "Do you think Jodie is a good friend?".
The answers "yes" or "no" are listed after each question but in order to see which friend has answered each question, you have to have accumulated 50 points to redeem.
How do you earn such points?
By answering questions about your friends of course.

The potential for this application to send you into a downward spiral is great. In fact, I think it is almost guaranteed because all it takes is ONE question among an entire list to suddenly grab hold of you and send you spinning.
I think the question will be different for each person.
I could care less who thinks I am cute and who doesn't, but someone else might really be bothered to know who thinks they aren't cute.
And, of course, if you can't overcome the urge to know who answered that question, you will then succumb to answering questions about your friends until you've earned your 50 points.
Each question only earns you 1 point so you've got a ways to go.

I encountered this application recently and I had to really evaluate its value.
Some questions, while seemingly innocent, have the potential for much damage.
"Is Jodie hot?"
Well, my husband could answer that honestly without having too much concern for consequences.
But consider the dilemma another male friend might have.
It might hurt my feelings if someone says no but I'm also a married woman and consider it out of bounds for someone other than my husband to contemplate the question in the first place.
Sure, it's nice to see that one of my friends thinks I'm fun to be around.
And it's humorous to see that there's some disagreement as to whether I sleep with a teddy bear or not.
But none of this defines me or who I am.
And while, like many, I struggle with caring about what you think of me,
what you think about me doesn't define me.
When my feelings get hurt, I have to be reminded that what defines me
is who GOD has created me to be.
What He thinks of me and of the person I am is what I need to be concerned with.
What He has to say about my actions, attitudes and heart- THAT is what truly matters.
So, I determined to not be driven by the silly, junior-high-ish (call it a new word!) application.
After all, when I find out who answered that one question that got under my skin,
THEN WHAT?
SEE!
It serves no good purpose.
I feel the same way about the ranking friends type applications too.
There's soooo much potential for destruction to a person's spirit, that I cannot see the value in these.
I say, delete the application and remove it from your sight.
You'll feel better.

And just for fun, let me answer a few of those FAQ's about me:

Has Jodie ever been hunting? -- Well, I love fishing. I've been hunting with a friend once but was praying the whole time the deer wouldn't show up. The Lord heard my prayers! :o)

Does Jodie sleep with a teddy bear? -- This one made me laugh because one friend answered "yes" and another "no". The answer is NO. But I do have a favorite blanket I like to sleep with. However, I don't and have never sucked my thumb! Funny!

Do you think Jodie watches the TV show "24"?-- Yes but it's only captured my attention the last season or so.

Do you think Jodie has ever lied to avoid going on a date?-- For sure!! (don't judge people) I don't like hurting people and am definitely guilty of fibbing in this circumstance.

Do you think that Jodie would go bungee jumping? -- NO WAY!!! Sorry friend but you pegged me wrong on this one. Maybe before marriage and children, but not now. I think the reaction my heart would have would widow my husband and orphan my children.

Do you think Jodie can run a mile without stopping?-- I don't think so. At least, not in the current shape I'm in.

Do you think that Jodie has ever skinny dipped?-- Ha! Ha! Ha! Someone said no. YES! I have skinny dipped. It was fun too!! (don't judge people!) Ha! Ha! Ha! Too funny.

I'm not perfect and I make LOTS of mistakes.
I have so much to learn and so many areas that I need to work on.
I'm on this journey through life just like you.
The Lord is teaching me new things all of the time.
But I know who I am
and I know WHO defines me.
I am learning to be ok with that.

I love you friends!

© 2010
All images property of Jodie L Hemersbach
Do not copy, capture, print or steal.

P.S. Something to contemplate:

Lucifer's weapons are largely unseen;
discounted by fools, they strike straight and true,
skewering the heart and piercing the soul.

Depression is his dagger, deceit his poison.
An efficient assassin, he slips in unnoticed,
Destroys a career with a well-timed lie.
With visions of grandeur he lays waste to nations,
With guilt and suspicion he undermines lives.

He understands the nature of mankind--
Spill a man's blood and he fights to live,
Wound a man's spirit and he prays to die.
(from a fictional novel by Jack Cavanaugh)

Dispelling Untruth

It is a common occurrence that always leaves me smiling inside for my kiddos. And on the flip side of the coin, it leaves me grumbling at the skeptical nay-sayers.

My kiddos were enjoying this sunny, Spring afternoon riding their bikes in a neighborhood not our own. In no time at all, one of them came to me asking if they could play with another kiddo who was hanging out alone in her front yard. All within view of where we were working, we were happy to "ok" the opportunity to make a new friend.

Four girls who'd never previously met, spent a fun afternoon visiting, playing and getting to know each other. Everyone came away happy and smiling.

So why do I grumble? I grumble because one of the more frequent comments heard by the skeptics ... critics even... of homeschooling is {read with your best nasally, whiny voice}, "what about socialization?" If you are one of those, you might want to stop reading now because I'm about to offend you. You've been warned.

That whole "socialization issue" is the biggest bunch of garbage! In my opinion, those who bring up the issue are simply regurgitating mindless nonsense they've heard from uneducated resources. That's right... I just went the long way around the word "ignorance". I always want to respond, "you ought to watch less television." I don't. But I want to!

I watch and listen to my children interacting with others- other children of all ages and other adults- and they are far from socially inept. It's not just my children. We met with a large group of homeschooling moms and kids (Sonlighting moms rock!) at a park in October. There were over 25 kiddos from infants to teenagers and they all were able to make friends and play. In fact, there were far less "age boundaries" among this group of "unsocialized" homeschoolers than observed in other settings. They're not perfect and they need guidance from time to time, but they do remarkably well- often exceedingly so. (Obviously, there are children with disabilities and special needs but surely we don't need to debate that!)

Funny too... there's that whole "Peer Pressure" issue. That issue is a valid issue and can have both negative and positive connotations to it. Most often, the connotation is negative and rightly so. Does it make sense to think that 5 year olds can teach 5 year olds how to properly interact in social situations? Come now! It doesn't take a high IQ to see the error in that thinking.

Children learn how to act and interact in social situations best from those who have already learned those skills themselves. In general, those good lessons will be from those older than themselves. It starts with mom and dad.

So after one of our daughters returned to play after a potty break, I said to my good-man-Charlie-Brown, "Ha! Our children sure need some socialization, don't you think?" and we both enjoyed a hearty laugh!

Socialization... Grab that shovel over there and let's muck out some stalls, shall we? ::wink::

Bloopers

Oops!

I'm an out-of-the-box, not very normal kind of girl. Maybe that's why I feel right at home with bloopers. It seems I'm always committing some crime against social correctness. You know, like picking up the wrong fork to use for my salad! Or chewing gum on my wedding day! --Yes! I did! I was nervous and I didn't care ONE BIT about social correctness. I still don't!

Don't confuse this with bad manners. Admittedly, the socially correct will point their bony fingers at me and declare me guilty. There is a difference between being considerate of others and following social protcol. I will say please and thank you, chew with my mouth closed, and refrain from burping or passing gas... the list goes on. But don't expect me to conform to the text book of social correctness.




Not exactly what I was going for... but it's pretty anyway.

I have discovered that I often resemble a blooper. I'm ok with that. I mean really... who decided that one fork was only fit for salad? They are both forks! I think using two forks just makes extra dirty dishes. Someone has to wash those extra forks! And what's the crime if I chew gum on my wedding day? I was smiling and happy and chewing gum kept the butterflies in my belly from flying out. Wouldn't you rather I did chew gum?

And who decided that these things... these social "rules"... were worth being important? Most are very silly when you consider what is really important in life. People... each one unique and special... created by God and loved by Him... people are important. Forks aren't!




Even repeated, it's still pretty.

I guess I'm a rebel!