Facebook: A Blessing and A Curse!

Facebook.

It is a strange and wonderful social realm.
The social platform has allowed me to reconnect with old friends. We can once again, engage in a form of daily friendship across great distances.
Of course, it truly only provides a glimpse of our lives but
friends are able to be encouraging and supportive to each other, even if only in words and prayer.
I love being able to pray for my friends and often very specifically
for them in daily circumstances.

But there's also a cursed side to facebook.
Any number of things, from ignored friendship requests to social inflammations, can very quickly throw one into a sense of being socially ostracized.
It is easy to forget that the typed word lacks vocal intonation and find yourself smack in the middle of an ugly exchange of words. (I blame my excessive use of emoticons on this.)
I've been told there are unspoken social "rules"- especially within the younger generations (highschoolers & college-aged).
What can I say?
I am a rebel.
I've never been good with social "rules" and some of the "rules" are downright idiotic.
Attempting a coup on accountability and responsibility doesn't fly with me and does nothing toward encouraging a new generation to be effective in society.
I stand against that and refuse to conform.

Then there are applications.
Oh yes!
The applications!!!
The latest application to show its face on my wall is an application called "Friend FAQ".
The premise is that one of my friends answered a question about me.
So I click the application and find a list of questions that the people on my friend list have answered about me.
The questions range from things like "Is Jodie cute?" to "Does Jodie dress well?" to "Do you think Jodie sleeps with a teddy bear?" to "Do you think Jodie is a good friend?".
The answers "yes" or "no" are listed after each question but in order to see which friend has answered each question, you have to have accumulated 50 points to redeem.
How do you earn such points?
By answering questions about your friends of course.

The potential for this application to send you into a downward spiral is great. In fact, I think it is almost guaranteed because all it takes is ONE question among an entire list to suddenly grab hold of you and send you spinning.
I think the question will be different for each person.
I could care less who thinks I am cute and who doesn't, but someone else might really be bothered to know who thinks they aren't cute.
And, of course, if you can't overcome the urge to know who answered that question, you will then succumb to answering questions about your friends until you've earned your 50 points.
Each question only earns you 1 point so you've got a ways to go.

I encountered this application recently and I had to really evaluate its value.
Some questions, while seemingly innocent, have the potential for much damage.
"Is Jodie hot?"
Well, my husband could answer that honestly without having too much concern for consequences.
But consider the dilemma another male friend might have.
It might hurt my feelings if someone says no but I'm also a married woman and consider it out of bounds for someone other than my husband to contemplate the question in the first place.
Sure, it's nice to see that one of my friends thinks I'm fun to be around.
And it's humorous to see that there's some disagreement as to whether I sleep with a teddy bear or not.
But none of this defines me or who I am.
And while, like many, I struggle with caring about what you think of me,
what you think about me doesn't define me.
When my feelings get hurt, I have to be reminded that what defines me
is who GOD has created me to be.
What He thinks of me and of the person I am is what I need to be concerned with.
What He has to say about my actions, attitudes and heart- THAT is what truly matters.
So, I determined to not be driven by the silly, junior-high-ish (call it a new word!) application.
After all, when I find out who answered that one question that got under my skin,
THEN WHAT?
SEE!
It serves no good purpose.
I feel the same way about the ranking friends type applications too.
There's soooo much potential for destruction to a person's spirit, that I cannot see the value in these.
I say, delete the application and remove it from your sight.
You'll feel better.

And just for fun, let me answer a few of those FAQ's about me:

Has Jodie ever been hunting? -- Well, I love fishing. I've been hunting with a friend once but was praying the whole time the deer wouldn't show up. The Lord heard my prayers! :o)

Does Jodie sleep with a teddy bear? -- This one made me laugh because one friend answered "yes" and another "no". The answer is NO. But I do have a favorite blanket I like to sleep with. However, I don't and have never sucked my thumb! Funny!

Do you think Jodie watches the TV show "24"?-- Yes but it's only captured my attention the last season or so.

Do you think Jodie has ever lied to avoid going on a date?-- For sure!! (don't judge people) I don't like hurting people and am definitely guilty of fibbing in this circumstance.

Do you think that Jodie would go bungee jumping? -- NO WAY!!! Sorry friend but you pegged me wrong on this one. Maybe before marriage and children, but not now. I think the reaction my heart would have would widow my husband and orphan my children.

Do you think Jodie can run a mile without stopping?-- I don't think so. At least, not in the current shape I'm in.

Do you think that Jodie has ever skinny dipped?-- Ha! Ha! Ha! Someone said no. YES! I have skinny dipped. It was fun too!! (don't judge people!) Ha! Ha! Ha! Too funny.

I'm not perfect and I make LOTS of mistakes.
I have so much to learn and so many areas that I need to work on.
I'm on this journey through life just like you.
The Lord is teaching me new things all of the time.
But I know who I am
and I know WHO defines me.
I am learning to be ok with that.

I love you friends!

© 2010
All images property of Jodie L Hemersbach
Do not copy, capture, print or steal.

P.S. Something to contemplate:

Lucifer's weapons are largely unseen;
discounted by fools, they strike straight and true,
skewering the heart and piercing the soul.

Depression is his dagger, deceit his poison.
An efficient assassin, he slips in unnoticed,
Destroys a career with a well-timed lie.
With visions of grandeur he lays waste to nations,
With guilt and suspicion he undermines lives.

He understands the nature of mankind--
Spill a man's blood and he fights to live,
Wound a man's spirit and he prays to die.
(from a fictional novel by Jack Cavanaugh)

A Backwards Glance: February 2007

(The following is a journal entry I wrote in February 2007)

There are many things in life not worth remembering.
The things that are worth the effort are often forgotten.

These last days have been some of the most stressful days of our twelve and a half years of marriage. To begin with, I have been on "mare watch"- more fondly called "mare stare". My beloved mare and dressage partner, Pholly, is expecting a foal sometime between late February and mid-March. This means that I no longer sleep in my bed. Instead, I take up residence in the recliner. Sleep involves several forms of alarm clocks to wake me at various intervals depending on Pholly's comfort level. To my right are two monitors giving me a live visual view into the barn. To my left is a baby monitor giving me constant audio feed from the barn. Sleep deprivation becomes the main characteristic of any person taking on "the mare stare". Naps are a necessity.

Add to my own state of sleep deprivation, my husband's own state of exhaustion. Recently diagnosed with hypothyroidism and heart palpitations, Steady-man schedule has been unusually tight between work and doctor's appointments. Throw lots of extra hours at work into the equation and fatigue is the result.

It is into this state of being that life hit hard. I woke up around 4:30, the morning of February 6th [2007], to do a quick roll-over check on Pholly. In my very, sleepy state, I remember thinking, "Gee, I'm cold". Then I blew into the air to see if I could see my breath. The very fact that I thought I might actually see it should have alarmed me. Instead, I snuggled deeper into my blankets and returned to the sleep I desperately wanted.

I was suddenly awakened at 5:30 am, by Steady-man's voice. "Jodie! It's ONLY 49 degrees in here!" Now, did I neglect to mention that our region of the world had just begun the first days of single digit high temperatures for the 2007 year? That's right! We were in the deep freeze and now our furnace wasn't running! All at once, the whole house was up. I told Steady-Man that I was thinking that I was awfully cold. Industrious One and Hair-tied-in-knots were both immediately awake and also cold. Tender-Heart emerged from her bed wrapped in a comforter- also wondering why it was so cold.

We began trying to get the furnace to run. After a few minutes, the furnace did start and we breathed a sigh of relief. Steady-man left for work, promising to check on us in a little while. The temperature rose but not very fast. By noon, the temperature was still only in the 50's and the furnace was running constantly.

The girls and I picked up a load of hay for the horses, unloaded it and stacked it in the barn. When we went to fill water buckets, we discovered the spigot (a freeze-less hydrant) was FROZEN! From frozen water spigot to cold house.

Steady-Man returned home from work and called our heating and furnace company. The technician told him that the house should have heated up by then. An appointment was scheduled for the next afternoon. At 6:00 pm, the furnace shut off and would NOT come back on. Steady-Man called for a technician. We were left with no choice but to have someone come out on an after-hours call. Fortunately, the tech was a very, nice, professional guy. The air flow to the furnace was dirty with spider webs. Apparently, the system is very sensitive. Instead of running on a blue flame, we were running a small, orange, candle flame. The blower fan is a little tight and might need to be replaced but for now, we have heat!

Steady-Man tried to thaw the spigot but believed it to be frozen down in the ground. Therefore, no water to the barn. Our only option was to carry water buckets from the house for our 7 horses, 2 outside dogs and barn cats. Thankfully, my father gave us a 35 gallon water tank several years ago. We could put the tank on the back of the truck, run a hose from the laundry room and then drive water down to the barn. It was a little work but far less back breaking than carrying buckets by hand.

In additon, the manure spreader broke and was parked in the garage for repair. Upon going to use the wheel barrow, we found it had a flat tire. The wheel was removed, fixed and wheel barrow reassembled.

Saturday, Industrious One's friend came over to spend the night. On Sunday, Steady-Man drove her friend home. When he returned, we filled the water tank and I drove the truck down to the barn. While I was backing up, I noticed someone's hair had been closed in the back window and was still there. Rolling the window down didn't free the hair so, I walked around, opened the door and window, removed the hair and closed the door. That's when I noticed the back tire- flat! REALLY FLAT!! Too flat to even risk driving back up to the garage and possible damaging the rim. Steady-Man put the air compressor on a sled and dragged it down to the barn. He filled the tire enough to get the truck up to the garage. Then he went to work changing the tire.

A frustrated man came into the house sometime later. No, the tire hadn't been changed. The switch on his air compressor had broken (remember: FRIGID temps!) and he had to fix that first. Then his heavy-duty, professional grade jack would not work. And now, he could not get two of the five lug nuts off the tire. Not only could he not get the lugs to move, but they were now quite munged up!

Panic began to set in pretty fast now. Both of our parents were out of state. Steady-Man's brother was able to offer some words of advice. Working together, we were able to remove the lugs. A plan was formulated. The spare was put on and Steady-Man went out to buy replacement lugs. You would think in a "Dodge" town, finding replacement lug nuts for our '06 truck would be easy. Not to be! They were not to be found. He bought much needed groceries instead.

The next day, (Monday 2/12/07) Sidekick drove the Neon to work with our Big Horn truck tire in his back seat. On his lunch break, a friend drove him to the tire place to drop off the tire and then to the dealership to buy lug nuts. After work, he picked up the repaired tire (punctured) and returned home. The spare tire was removed and the repaired tire replaced. It took a little extra effort to get the spare tire put back in place under the bed but we eventually discovered our mistake and got the job done.

We drove water down to the barn and gave all of the animals fresh, hot water. A huge snow storm- possible blizzard- was forecasted to move in late that night. After dinner, we settled in to relax and enjoy the evening. Sometime around the middle of the evening, I used the rest room. The toilet plugged up- unusual in itself- and no amount of plunging was working. I soon discovered that all 3 toilets in the house, would not drain. This was the eve of a blizzard too!

This becomes a story in and of itself. After several phone calls, a local company's employee returned our call. Feeling we had no choice based on the amount of snow we were supposed to receive, we asked him to come out that night. It would be an hour or so, but he agreed to come.
The fellow hadn't been here long when Steady-Man came into the kitchen with a worried look. "I don't know that this guy knows what he's doing. He thinks our septic tank is probably full and they don't do pumping. Right now, he's trying to get the lid off the tank". What a desperate feeling! They were predicting 12 to 16 inches of snow for our area which would paralyze this area. We might not be able to get anyone out ot us for several days! The snow was now falling!

In hind sight, this fellow lacked a lot of skill. He could not get the lid open. Steady-Man tried to help him and even provided some of our own tools for his use. At one point, the guy was blow torching the septic lid. This didn't seem too wise considering the contents of the tank below. The fellow even suggested breaking the lid but could not tell us where we would get a replacement. We decided against that option. When asked about snaking the system, the guy was pretty negative about it and said he really thought the problem was a full tank. In the end, he left, having charged us $185- $112 of that for labor. The ticket said he "determined" the tank was full. (Huh?) Our toilets were still backed up! This is a time when you actually wish you did have an outhouse. It was now 2:00 am. It was enough stress to give ME heart palpitations!

At 4:30 am, I woke up to check on Pholly. Steady-Man was also up and when we looked outside, we knew we had to bring at least two more of the horses into the barn. The wind was awful, temps at zero and lots of snow- LOTS!

We worked quickly to prepare stalls and brought the two horses in. MaGee promptly laid down to roll in the fresh stall and immediately became cast! He tried a few times to get up but was not successful. Then he just laid there, as if waiting, wither for a hero or for death.
It took some doing, but Sidekick and I were able to roll him over. Of course, now he was stuck worse! The position he was in now put him with his rump against the short, front wall with his hooves in the air. We rolled him back and Steady-Man pulled his chest away from the wall enough for MaGee to get up. MaGee then shook off the straw and wanted to know where his hay was. Silly Haflinger!!

Early in the morning, Steady-Man called Roto-Rooter. They were still working and would put us on the list. We were number 23 in line. Thirty minutes later, they called back. "This must be your lucky day", the guy on the line said. "Not a single person answered the phone. We'll dispatch someone to you now". THAT is The LORD! Our driveway was getting bad, so I drove the truck up and down it to help open it up some. A field supervisor and a sidekick came. Within 20 minutes, not only had they opened the lid but they had also cleared the CLOG! The charge was $73. God is awesome and so full of grace! [post-script: we were refunded $112 from the first company.]

It was still snowing and the wind chills were expected to be -20 (that's MINUS 20) by the next morning. Steady-Man, Industrious One and I bundled up and went out to drag down round pen panels from the back acreage to the barn. The snow was very deep and the drifted places even deeper. It was slow going and hard work. Using two regular panels plus the gated panel, we rigged a make-shift stall in the aisle, enabling us to bring all of the horses inside.

By Wednesday, we had over 14 inches of blowing, drifting snow. Surrounding areas had 17 inches. Steady-Man missed two days of work. We paid a farmer down the road to come dig and clear out our driveway. Times like these remind us to be thankful every day for even the seemingly small things God takes care of. We still had a frozen spigot but all other issues were resolved.

[The story should end here, but...]
Wednesday morning, I ate an english muffin with peanut butter on it. By 11:00- 11:30 am, I had intestinal cramps and accompanying symptoms. I didn't feel well at all and feared I was coming down with a stomach virus. Steady-Man and Industrious One kept watch over Pholly and I went to bed. Hair-tied-in-knots had been having stomach aches for a few days also. I advised them to disinfect and be sure to practice good hand-washing.

Thursday, the news reported a recall on Peter Pan Peanut butter with #2111 product coding. There was a problem with salmonella in some! I'd had food poisoning one other time and immediately suspected what caused my problems. Sure enough!! Our jar had the #2111 code! Perfect ending! Thank The LORD! He protected us from serious illness. We eat a LOT of peanut butter [or did!] and this jar was almost empty. We pray daily for His Protection and are so thankful that He hears our prayers!

(Ten crazy days! It was so crazy, it demanded to be written down. I am thankful for the journal reminder of God's Everlasting Faithfulness to us.)

© 2010
All images property of Jodie L Hemersbach
Do not copy, capture, print or steal.

The Master's Canvas

© 2009
All images property of Jodie L Hemersbach
Do not copy, capture, print or steal.

Life is Hard

Earnest Hemingway once said that when you're having a hard time writing, start with one true statement.

Life is hard.

It is just simply hard.

Life has no respect for stages.
It is hard to be an infant and to be completely reliant on others for your needs. That is especially difficult for the neglected, abused and abandoned.
It is hard to be a child (although I rather relish my childhood as a time when life was easy). But there is a struggle to conform and comply without complete understanding.

It is terribly difficult to be a teenager- excruciating! No money in the world could get me to relive those years. The only value in that would be to correct the many mistakes I made. It is a time caught between childhood and adulthood that my own father has coined "the inhuman stage".
It is not easy to be a college student with the demand of decisions, assignments and responsibilities weighing you down. And the burden is further augmented by the constant reminder that "the direction of your life is dependent on the decision you make".

And then the school of "Real Life" looms ahead. And the twenty something stands at its gate armed with all the education packed in their bag and the misconception that they now "know how" (at least, that's what I thought). Why do we not warn them that they may have mastered the art of education but they are now beginners again as they enter this thing called "Real Life"? Life does not conform to text books. It just does NOT!

And truthfully, we never stop being beginners in this thing we call life.

I have not yet reached the latter years of life expectancy but one thing I am sure of is that life will continue to be hard. And as one who has always been rather independent, I've no doubt that an elderly return to dependency will not be easy.

Life is hard!! It's extremely hard.

And I've struggled with keeping up this blog for that very reason.
To open the curtains and allow others to peek in my window requires a willingness to be somewhat vulnerable. And life is already difficult without allowing others to look in.
And I don't want to sound like a constant dripping. I know all too well how whining can wear on the nerves. We need optimism and hope.
And quite frankly, my life is none of your business. You have your own life to deal with.
By opening my window, I become vulnerable to your opinions, your assumptions and possibly your criticism. Life is already hard enough.
We need camaraderie.

And as much as I have an aversion to being criticized, judged or looked poorly upon... and as often as I feel like locking the windows and closing the curtains... somehow, I still have this deep compelling urge to open the curtains (if only a crack) and unlock the window so that you can peek inside. So that you can see that indeed, my life is hard too.

Our family sits on the uncertainty of job security in an industry traveling through bankruptcy courts. And our cushion is a budget squeezed to choking (a product of our own decisions- mistakes and all). We're uncomfortable and yet we gain wisdom. We're concerned and even scared and yet we gain confidence. We're angry and yet we gain grace... compassion... understanding.

Because when I look around me I see a true statement:

Life is Hard.




For me, only one thing remains constant...
I cannot be separated from the Love of God.
-Romans 8:35-39

Abated.

So... I've been paying close attention to the current events of the day, as are you. I hear the media (bleh!), do my own research (often disputing the talking heads) and shake my head. I don't want to be an alarmist, but I am alarmed! Nor do I wish to fall into some category of "kooky conspiracy theorist", but shall I be so naive as to believe there's not an abundance of deception in the events of our world today? No. I think that belief would lack all manner of discernment.

These are difficult times. More layoffs in our area have targeted people I love dearly. It is frightening... uncertain... VERY stressful. And while we're concentrating on our daily struggles, our government seems to be sneaking around behind our backs. Truly! I won't list them all here... if you go nibbing around the internet, you'll find it all. But I have to say that there's very little, if anything, in that giant "stimulus bill" that will add one penny to our pockets. (Forgive me... I'm a busy mom & I haven't reached the end of those 1000+ pages... I think it's something like 1464 pages and I'm not to page 50 yet!!) Seriously! Do you know how many dollars that $800 tax break will add to our pockets? It's a joke! Did you fall for it?

And I'm done with the whole democrat-republican thing. REALLY DONE!! Don't ask me which I support because I no longer support either based on their "camp". D.O.N.E. Just give me one upstanding, honest, ethical American who cares about this country more than any label! (Ok... that's just one among many of my wishes) No more politically correct letters for me thanks! I don't do gagging and vomit sends me RUNNING!

I'm not just alarmed. And I'm not just skeptical. I am ANGRY! I am angry that the people I love.. friends and family alike... who have worked HARD... who go to work everyday,- get their hands dirty- engage in hours of hard physical labor, -pay their bills (& their taxes!) - are being thrown in the mud. I am ANGRY that our American soldiers are risking, and some losing, their lives for FREEDOM while our greedy, dirty politicians are taking FREEDOMS away from Americans. ANGRY!!!! FURIOUS!!!

Oh! And don't forget to pay YOUR taxes lest you be thrown in jail... unless, of course, you are a person of prominence. But wait! Martha Stewart went to prison... hmmmm... guess she didn't have the right connections. Sorry Martha. I guess you're more like the rest of us than you'd probably like to believe.

Sigh....

And then I go to tuck my kiddos into bed this evening...

We're still answering lots of questions about what happens to our animals when they die. LOTS of deep thinking goes on in this house. That makes me happy because my desire is that my children learn HOW TO THINK FOR THEMSELVES. They must! And when it comes to matters of faith, it is imperative that they think for themselves - absolutely IMPERATIVE!

I tend not to give answers... rather, I ask more questions. I ask them to share their ideas. Eventually, I do share my thoughts and what I believe are the "answers" to their questions. Sometimes I don't know the answer to their question- and I tell them that too. We talk about the possibilities and we discuss what we DO know. Often, we resolve to look into a matter further. I LOVE learning! I hope they catch that love too.

But I stray...

Tonight the conversation was deeply thought provoking... profoundly so for an eight year old and a ten year old. They were very engaging. The conversation ended with a request to read about Jesus' birth tomorrow. (I swear the Spirit danced within me!) Of course!

"Night-night... sleep tight.... don't let the bed bugs bite.... "

I quietly made my way downstairs and immediately sought my Sailor-man. I had to share our conversation with him... even if he was almost in dream-land. He never begrudges me for such things. (He's awesome!)

Suddenly, two little girls appear. They want to know if they can read their Bible before they go to sleep. (Yep! The angels rejoice- I think I heard them!) I had a better idea... we didn't wait until tomorrow to read their requested passages. They even wanted to hear both accounts of Jesus' birth (Matthew & Luke).

Abated....

"For he, the Mighty One, is holy, and he has done great things for me.
His mercy goes on from generation to generation, to all who fear him."
-from Luke 1:46-55

And for my friends and family, whom I love dearly!!!! - We're in this mess together! I am praying continually!

"So I tell you, don't worry about everyday life- whether you have enough food to eat or clothes to wear. For life consists of far more than food and clothing. Look at the ravens. They don't need to plant or harvest or put food in barns because God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to HIM than any birds! ...

...And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won't he more surely care for you?" - from Luke 12:22+

The Other Guy's Shoes

Recently, a friend expressed the hurt of her day by asking why "Christians" feel they have the right to judge.

I don't know why that is. I know and understand the hurt of it. I've been on the receiving end of those judging attitudes. It leaves you feeling alone, unloved, misunderstood, and deeply wounded. ..... Unfortunately, I also know the critical spirit that inflicts a person with the "judging" syndrome. I've done it too and I am sorry for it. ... deeply remorseful.

The fact is, we often don't truly know what another person is going thru in life. We don't stop to consider a walk in another man's shoes. We might gain a whole new perspective and more importantly, a whole new capacity to love one another. My good man often reminds me, "you never know who might just be fighting to get out of the bed in the morning". So TRUE!

Have we forgotten how much grace was extended to us when Jesus put Himself in our place and served the sentence we owed for the things we've done wrong? None of us deserve it. Yet, HE loves ALL of us. Loves us beyond what can be truly comprehended. (I can think of some really unlovable characters! Yet He stood in their place too- wow! I have a hard time wrapping my brain around that!)

And I should be concerned about the day *I* stand before God, the ONE True Judge. And each should be concerned with their own turn before HIM.

As Christians, should we not be consumed with knowing The Lord, Jesus? And as a result, we should be fully motivated to LOVE each other, understanding how desperately we all need HIM.

And leave it to God to say it perfectly... (hehehe)
"No, O people, the LORD has already told you what is good, and this is what he requires: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God." (Micah 6:8)

• Do what is right
• Love mercy
• Walk humbly with God

I need that in indelible ink on my heart.

I venture to say that when we're NOT doing those things, we will fall into the hurtful behavior of judging.

There's enough criticism, divisiveness and hurt going around these days. What that epidemic needs is a shot of "Just-Humble-Mercy".

This song makes the medicine go down for me. ;0) (often I cry, but it's always good for me)