A few thoughts from my heart.

I was working on a purple crotcheted hat when I looked down and saw this pink heart on my lap.
I have no idea how it got there. It had been 24 hours since I had worked with that color. And I certainly hadn't shaped it there on my lap.
Funny how things just happen.
Life is like that.

I don't generally subscribe to resolutions because we all have the choice to make a change at any time. That being said, we gladly left 2009 behind and hope that 2010 brings encouragement, hope, and changes in positive directions for us.
Of course, change doesn't always come easy and many of the changes we hope to make in 2010 are going to be difficult-- but necessary.
And we pray the end results will be positive for our family.
We've just left the first month of the year behind and not much has changed for us. In fact, I declared, between sobs last week, that I feel like we're spinning our tires in deep, thick mud! We've attempted to make some moves but seem to have only encountered slammed doors. Now we're looking for windows.

One BIG CHANGE for 2010 we've already set in motion is that we are placing all three of our horses (Pholly, MaGee and Kid) for sale. We hope to find new homes for them quickly. My heart needs for this to just happen so it can heal and move on. We'll be sad to see them go, for sure. We've agonized over this decision since last summer. I've cried-- sobbed- felt the pain in my heart- put it off & tried to ignore it but... It is just necessary. There are positives on the other side of the decision that I'm hanging on to. Finding great new homes for them will ease the pain.

Parenting is certainly changing its face for us. It's one crazy beast that morphs from one form to another. We see areas we need to change, mistakes we've made and need to fix quickly before it's too late, things we are happy we're doing and would like to do more. I plan to blog more on this soon.

Speaking of blogging: It is my goal to keep this up to date this year. I have some personal goals where my love for photography is concerned that I hope to incorporate into my blog. One task I've set before myself is to capture ONE image from my day to share here. The idea seems to be in keeping with giving you a peek in my windows. That's not always easy because there's the risk of vulnerability. A friend shared a great quote today that says it best:
"A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue."
So true.

We've reached 2010 and we're into our late 30's... supposedly "all-grown-up".. and we're just now figuring out what we really want to do "when we grow up". ::insert laughing here::
That's not really fair, is it? I mean... what we really want to do is a far cry from what we are doing! Sheesh! (And thus we encourage our kiddos to take their time! There's no hurry when you're in your late teens and even your early twenties- I mean REALLY!)
So 2010 will involve much research... much pondering... some simplifying and hopefully putting some "ducks in a row". Whether we make drastic changes in the end or not only The Lord knows. But it can't hurt to take steps toward improvement- right?

And back to that heart...
next to pursuing wisdom (Proverbs 4:7)...
I hope to guard mine well and in turn encourage my children to do so as well.

"ABOVE ALL ELSE, GUARD YOUR HEART,
FOR IT AFFECTS EVERYTHING YOU DO."
~Proverbs 4:23

Now how did that pink yarn heart get there?

© 2009
All images property of Jodie L Hemersbach
Do not copy, capture, print or steal.

Broken Hearts

In Loving Memory of
Meah
unknown- January 27th, 2009

Not so long ago, if you remember,
our family was given a wonderful gift pony.
Meah was instantly... and I do mean INSTANTLY...
adored by our sweet, tender daughter.

Immediate and Intimate friendship.
Every girl ought to experience that incredible bond with an equine
at least once in a lifetime.

Meah would stand for hours to be groomed
and have her mane braided.
Our Tender-heart practiced plaiting Meah's tail for days on end.
Sometimes they would just walk together.
Mostly, Tender-heart would hop on bare back and
wander the depths of adventure and imagination...
all shared with her most beloved pony friend.

Hair-tied-in-knots also loved Meah deeply.
Meah gave her confidence
and earned her trust.
Meah took care of my girls.
To me, Meah was priceless!!

A Terrible illness robbed sweet Meah's body.
We fought for her
but her body continued to fail.
The worst decision ever was necessary.

In the end, good-byes were spoken and shared
while tears fell.
All those who witnessed it were deeply affected
and none will ever question the bond
that was inscribed on the hearts of my girls.

My sweet Tender-heart is incredibly courageous.
I wanted to buffer the pain and offered to turn Meah over to our vet
in that final decision.
She chose to lead her best friend to the finish line.
More unspoken goodbyes hung in the air.
Quietly, and gently, she removed the halter she'd chosen so carefully
for her Meah-girl only a short 11 months ago.
She rubbed her muzzle and said goodbye.
It was the courage of love...

When I took this picture, my heart swelled because it perfectly
captured my daughter's heart.
And now, it rips my heart out.

And still.... I am ever so thankful that my tender girl
can say she's experienced
that unspeakable, heart-wrenching bond.
Her heart is broken but
she knows what it is to love deeply.

Too close?

The other day, Industrious One decided to take her camera out in the pasture and take some pictures of our haflinger, Mr. MaGee. Anyone reading this who owns a haflinger is already laughing!

Here's why....

First, Industrious One had to show her credentials to the herd boss....

that would be Pholly- - why yes! She IS my mare. Why do you ask? Certainly you're not suggesting that she suits me well because of that trait, would you? --- Hey! I am a first born! - 'nough said! ;)

Upon passing the security check, Industrious One set out in her attempts to get some good shots of Mr. MaGoof... oh! I mean MaGee!

And wherever she went...
... there he was!

She even tried changing directions... He just followed suit.
when she stopped, he stopped...

If she walked, he walked right beside her... never wavering.
Does she look a little defeated?
Well.... since she could not get any distance between them, she figured she might as well hug him!
'Course... then he wanted to know why she wasn't taking more pictures of him!

Me?

Why yes! I got some GREAT pictures! LOL

It's NOT My Fault!

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!!

Meet Mr. Banks!


He'll be climbing aboard our trailer tomorrow morning and coming home to be doted on & loved by our girls!

What happened to the week?

Here we are... it's Friday and I feel like someone hit a fast forward button on my week. Did I miss a few days? I'm pretty sure I did.

Monday morning started with our farrier, David. The horses were mostly well-behaved for him. Mr. MaGee always has to test to see where the limits are. It's become more subtle than when he was a yearling. Now as a four year old, he is more devious about it. But David feels it all. MaGoof shifts his weight around in an apparent attempt to test David's weight limit. When he attempts to put most of his 1000 pounds in David's hands, David scolds him and he straightens up for a few minutes- gives acting a try while portraying an innocent angel pony-- then finds a new way to test the limits of David's strength. It's never overtly naughty... rather like he's messing around.

Of course, David's not so innocent. He's gotten me into trouble this week! .... more on that in a minute.

Tuesday was semi busy. A trip to town to review kitchen designs for the house we're currently renovating. Ugh! You gotta love the way designer creativity adds to the bill. In this case, the creativity was going to add over $1000 to the overall bill. We decided the creativity -while creative- was not practical. Scratch the creative and stick to the practical -- go for quality.

Wednesday morning I awoke to swollen hands, knees & feet topped off with red, itchy blotches and painful joints. This is not new for me. I've probably had this happen half a dozen times since high school. And yes... I have seen a doctor for it several times. It's always the same answer... "we don't know", "you must be allergic to something. Think about what you ate", "take some Benedryl". I go home, take some benedryl and slip into a coma for the next 12 hours. I'm a freak of nature. Who knows? But I suspect my missing week has to do with this mystery relapse and benedryl. I've eaten nothing out of the ordinary and haven't done anything that I don't do in my daily living. Why the sudden flare up? No clue! I'm a freak!

I am better today and ready to get in trouble. I'm blaming it on David, our farrier! As you may know, we have 4 horses... one of those being a miniature stallion. When the 4 of us ride, we have 3 horses to ride. Do the math! We're short a mount. So David "innocently" inquired whether I might be looking for another pony. LOL I haven't been actively shopping but I have been watching. I figured that taking my time would allow the right pony to come along. So, of course, I could only answer, "actually... yes, I've been looking". Well! You guessed it! David knew of a very nice pony that one of his other clients has for sale. (Jason thanks you David!!! LOL)

Finding a horse that fits your needs and is known by someone you trust is always a valuable thing. And even better... your farrier who handles the horse/pony regularly. So this afternoon we'll be meeting this pony. He sounds like a gem... a been there, done that gentleman who is well rounded and versatile.

::giggle::

I'll keep you posted... and maybe even have pictures to share later!



P.S. Hair-tied-in-knots told us Wednesday that she had her outfit all picked out for when she gets to meet the pony! She very promptly put on said outfit as soon as she was out of bed this morning. Riding breeches & a "horsey" t-shirt! ::more giggling::

It's a Date!

This pretty gal has been a guest at our little farm.

She's on a quest for motherhood and is dating our mini stud. ::wink::wink::

The Circus is in Town

Well.... not really... but I felt like I was the circus!

In my bright, efficient, save gas money thinking, I made a vet appointment for our horses due for vaccinations and for Elsa... also due for booster shots. Seemed like a great plan... and I still think it was the smartest way of accomplishing the vetting that was due... but I didn't consider that I would feel like I was at the controls of a moving tornado!

I was so proud of myself for planning the morning well enough that we were actually running a few minutes ahead of schedule. Even after Pholly & "MaGOOF-ball" decided to play a game of chase (in the 90 degree heat no less!) with each other before being caught. Seemed fool hardy to me ... running is the last thing *I* would have wanted to do in yesterday's heat! Nevertheless, we had time to groom everyone, load everyone and still run back across the yard for forgotten items. As we pulled out of the driveway, I was amazed to see that I was ahead of schedule.

Of course, that all went away when I ran into towing "troubles". It wasn't troubles really... just concerns. But it was enough concern to warrant "Dad to the Rescue!" Nothing was amiss structurally, nor mechanically so we chalked it up to the wind, a different towing vehicle, and weight distribution. BUT, all of that extra time was now gone and we were late.

So now I am the LATE circus coming to town. We pull into the vet clinic in a nice neat package and then pour out like the wind that knows no boundaries. Oh... I'm sure it wasn't really that bad... but it's how my mommy-mind feels. Three kids, three horses, one puppy! Now that I think about it... it is much like supervising SEVEN children. No wonder I feel like the circus.

I'm not sure whether to express my appreciation for the kind, friendly manner in which the clinic staff handles us... or my apologies to them for the chaos I feel I am injecting into their afternoon.
And after we drive away... I realize I forgot to purchase the vaccinations for the ONE horse I left at home! Yep.... I had to turn around and go back... because, after all.... the whole point in bringing the circus to town was to save gas money!

Sigh! Welcome to "McBroom's Wonderful One Acre Farm"! (If you don't know what I'm talking about... look it up! It's a great... fun book to read to the kids!)

S--l--o--o--o--w Motion

You know those moments in life that fill just a few minutes or even just mere seconds yet are processed in your brain in a manner that makes you feel like it is happening in slow motion? Sometimes it's almost as if you are standing on the sidelines watching the event unfold. Or maybe it's as if your brain is processing the experience in a series of still shots that freeze each frame as it happens. It's weird! And it leaves you with a strange sensation depending on the outcome.

When I was pregnant with Hair-tied-in-knots, we hit a patch of ice and our vehicle could no longer be convinced to travel in the direction intended (around a 90 degree bend in the road). That moment still plays in my mind in s--l--o--o--o--w motion. I remember my-good-man-Charlie-Brown making every effort to stop the event-- brakes don't work on sheer ice. I remember realizing we were going straight into the trees ahead. I remember thinking, "this is going to HURT!" I remember turning to the inside of the car to avoid the shattering glass. How we ended up perfectly squeezed between two trees can only be attributed to God's Hand on us. We all walked away unharmed. I spent the afternoon finding glass in strange places.

The actual giving birth to my second and third daughters... those moments play in my mind as if they were hours stretched before me. I recall all kinds of details in those moments. I remember that it hurt but oddly enough... the pain actually fades aways-- otherwise, who would go thru it again?? REALLY!!?? In reality, the pushing stage of labor lasted less than 10 minutes with each. I don't know how long the reality of my first child's birth was. She was born by c-section and I was drugged & numb! THAT birth took hours!!:)

When my brother used to race dirt bikes, the start of the race... from the drop of the gates to the first turn... that seemed to take an eternity. The whole time I sat with my heart in my throat. When he would come out of that corner unscathed... and better... in the front... THEN I could breathe again. Yeah... that happens quickly but my brain always slowed it down.

I once fell off a mare we used to own. I got myself into the situation by a lack of good judgment and the consequences were only just and fair. She bolted and I knew that the other end of the run was going to involve me and the ground. It was a snowy winter day and I foolishly thought that the combination of coveralls and snow would act like a nice cushy mattress. I vividly knew when the fall began. My brain even slowed the event enough that I "planned" the place I should land. Slow motion or NOT... snow & coveralls do not equal cushy mattress! Yeah! THAT hurt!

Worse than my fall was the day Hair-tied-in-knots was riding a very well behaved haflinger when another horse had a moment of rebellion. I was standing beside my then 6 yo daughter who was happily riding all by herself. The other horse was young and the girl lungeing him essentially lost control of him. As he came careening around the outside of where we were, the girl didn't let go of the lunge line. I knew the second the pony left the spot. What choice did he have? He was just clothes-lined by an unexpected lunge line. Hair-tied-in-knots was on top of the saddle when she was next to me. I don't have a clue how I escaped injury... I was between the horses and don't remember ducking to avoid the now taut lunge line. I DO remember looking over and NOT seeing Hair-tied-in-knots on top of the pony. Nor was she on the ground! I knew that meant she was hanging on to the side of the saddle. Yeah! That whole scene plays in S-----L-----O-----W motion!! She did let go and she was fine... 'tho scared. So was the pony and both remember the experience all too well.

It's weird how the brain processes events sometimes.

I had a .....s--l--o--w ........m--o--t--i--o--n ........event today.

I climbed out of the car... shut the door...... saw horror on my dad's face... heard him say something like "OH! n...." (unfinished "no")... that was the second the door left my grasp... I vividly saw my mother's hand on the door jamb! .... my heart stopped!
Once again, I can only give the Lord credit causing her to move her hand JUST IN TIME! I don't know how her hand got out of there. There certainly didn't seem to be enough time but... (oh yeah! I can breathe.... I forgot!)... she has all of her fingers and none of them were crushed!

Oh! I'm so glad her hand didn't get shut in that door!!

PHEW!

I love you Mom! :)

Oh Sadness!

Did anyone else watch the Kentucky Derby?

Oh my goodness! What a thrilling event! Every year we watch the hour long pre-race coverage. It's amazing... all of the hoopla... for a race that lasts a mere fraction of that time. But we're fascinated by the horses. Oh! How we admire such magnificent equine athletes!!

We also enjoy the stories behind the horses. It would have been neat for the horse that was purchased for $4500 to win. It would just go to show that a good horse, is a good horse... no matter what price you pay!

We all sat with suspense watching Big Brown come from behind. For a moment it appeared that Eight Belles was going to give him a run for his money. She hung in there for a bit and then Big Brown seemed to shift into a whole 'nother gear and took off. Both he and Eight Belles pulled away from the rest but Big Brown really left them all in the dust.

I was cheering on that beautiful filly! Don't get me wrong, I was equally happy to see Big Brown win... clearly that horse is an amazing horse. But I wanted to see that filly do well. Second place wasn't so bad either!

The victory... Big Brown seemed to know that "he was the man"! He appeared to be very full of himself. I saw his rider come off and then UGH!!!!... my heart stopped. A horse laying on the track! Our living room became very silent and filled with concern.

Then the sad news... the horse--- Eight Belles! Oh no! After running such a great race. And then worse news... she broke both front legs & was humanely euthanized. Call me a sap but I immediately began crying. That is so heart breaking.. so heart wrenching... so utterly devastating. I know it was "just an animal" and I'm so glad the jockey was ok... but still... I cried and cried (and I might add...I wasn't the only one in the room crying).

There was no other choice. A horse can get around on 3 legs if it must but not 2. I'm sure she was suffering... and watching a horse suffer is gut wrenching... awful!

Oh my heart! It brings your own grief right back to the surface.

Settling in

What an awesome pony! She's all heart when it comes to the kids. And she's settling in wonderfully here. She very quickly learned the feed time chorus... nickering & calling to us right along with the others.

After spying Meah and Pholly grooming each other over the gate that divides one lot from the pasture, we decided it was time to integrate her into the herd. Pholly was exactly the individual I hoped would bond with Meah. Pholly keeps "GoofBall" pony in his place and I can count on her to keep order in the herd.


We discovered this week that Meah is in her element when outside for a leisure ride. She never batted an eyelash about being away from the herd or about exploring an area of our property new to her.

Happy pony... Happy kiddos... Happy Mom!!

For Crying OUT LOUD!

UGH!!!

I GIVE UP!

You WIN Blogger!

I feel like I've had so much to say since my last post on Tuesday, April 15th. I tried to post on Wednesday and was sent into some eternal loop of frustration.... "your publish is taking too long to publish. Click here to continue waiting".... or something very close to that (I OUGHT to have that memorized by now)!

I've been posting all of my blog posts via ftp to my own webhosting site. Alas, I'm not the only ftp'er who has been sucked into the vortex of "...taking too long. Click here to wait...". I've given in to Blogger for now and am publishing via blogger's hosting... until, that is... the problem is fixed OR I find a new home for my blog.

Here's the other picture I TRIED to post in my Behind the Barn post.



Hope this works!

Behind the Barn

Fun Friday Foto

Look who's talking now!
Tell me what you think she's saying!!
Come on! I know you guys are creative!
:)

Fun Friday Foto

"Well, now that my mane looks gorgeous, how 'bout I brush that hair of yours?"

This makes me smile!

Feinding Wisdom's Story- part 3

February 28th, 2007- One year ago, our dream foal entered the world.


It's taken me a while to get back to this story. If you missed the first two parts and are scratching your head, look back in the archived posts of 2007.

When I left you last, I was standing at the vet clinic with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I remember my mind whirling. I had no way to reach "Charlie Brown" by phone and even if I did, I'd probably just start bawling. Then we'd get no where because the vet would return to perform x-rays to find me standing in the aisle blubbering. All the while, Charlie Brown would be on the phone trying to decide how best to deal with his distraught wife.

I thought about calling our trainer but again, I knew I was close to breaking down into a heap of tears. They've already seen that ugly mess before (oh gee! That's another story). I'm sure they'd all be rolling their eyes while they also tried to decipher what to do with this hiccuping, sobbing mess on the other end of the phone.

I didn't call anyone. I maintained my composure, kept breathing and kept rational thought in charge so important information- information necessary for decision making- wouldn't be drowned in emotion.





I could really stretch this out with all kinds of details that some would find absolutely fascinating and others would hear, "waa, waa, wha, wha" (like Charlie Brown's teacher). Initially things did not appear too bad.

Things went from bad to worse in a short period of time. Solomon's hind stifle joint(the equivalent of our knee) progressed from very swollen to swollen and floating out of place. If you think that sounds bad, you are right.



There are moments that will forever be etched in my memory. I will always remember the feeling, my surroundings, the details, etc. of those moments. That day the stitches were removed and the first set of x-rays were taken will be one.

The day the second set of x-rays were taken is the second. I knew the moment our vet felt that "knee cap" float out of place that it was worse than BAD just by the look on his face. If this story were a true piece of literature, that look would be perfect foreshadowing. It wasn't even a look that he necessarily intended to share with us, but it was there. He couldn't hide what was an obvious response to what is not supposed to be.

If you know me in real life, you know I don't hide my faith. The Lord cares about the very fine details of our lives and He proved Himself in our situation with Solomon.

We made no rash decisions. Everything was well thought out and researched as far as our resources allowed. Our team of vets (yes... now we had a team of vets rather than just one) very patiently fielded my phone calls and unending questions. When they didn't have answers they used their resources to hunt down answers. I no longer had to include my last name when calling the office. We talked so often, everyone seemed familiar with Solomon's case.

"Lord, please let us have the opportunity to ultrasound the joint." Less than 24 hours from that prayer, we were given that opportunity without our vet being aware of our desire. "Lord, please let those three main ligaments be intact" The ultrasound showed those three ligaments intact and mostly good. These were just the beginnings of the many ways the Lord was Faithful and provided answers (in every minute detail) along the way.



After MUCH deliberation & praying and following the LORD's most obvious answers to our prayers we opted for surgery. From everyone's best knowledge, it was deduced that the one remaining ligament behind the "knee cap" had to be the culprit. That ligament was not visible via ultrasound since the location is behind the bone. Surgery would attempt to clean up the joint, debride the damaged bone and would sew tissue together in an attempt to stabilize the joint. (There is not a knee replacement surgery for equines YET)



Solomon was a perfect patient at the animal hospital and the vet students all fell in love with him. Who wouldn't? This young colt was so curious and social yet completely correctable & trainable. He had a great head about him- smart like his mom! You couldn't help but to like him because he had a way of saying, "Hey! Want to be my friend?" After a week at the hospital, and successful surgery Solomon was released to come home.





We nursed him around the clock at home. The camera was on him at all hours. He was great to vet and had no problem with all of our poking and prodding. That included monitoring his rectal temperature several times daily for several weeks. Even our 12yo daughter could take his vitals. We helped him thru GI upset due to medications, learned how to manage his pain and were well on the way to helping him to a full recovery. When his stitches were removed, everyone was amazed at the improvement to the joint. There was far less swelling in the joint and it was remarkably stable.

The very things that were believed to be in Solomon's favor for a successful recovery were also the very things that were going to be to his detriment. He was young and growing! As he began to feel good, he had a natural desire to be a normal horse.

One step. I believe that is all it was. One wrong step. Solomon went from walking on 4 hooves- albeit lamely,but walking- to walking on 3. That is another moment I won't forget. It was a "moment" that lingered and wouldn't go away.

PS. If you stumble upon here in search for stifle injury information or if you are fascinated by details and want to learn more, feel free to contact me privately. ;)

What you didn't see!

I thought I would show you what you DIDN'T see in yesterday's pictures!


You don't see it yet, do you. You're looking at his beautiful face and the blurry snowflake in front of his eye. Oh! Maybe you think I'm referring to his mohawk. You noticed that didn't you!

Yes! He needed to have his bridle path clipped. But that's NOT what I'm talking about.


Look at his tail!

I think I just heard you GASP!

That's frozen globs of MUD on the end of that tail. Anyone want to venture a guess as to how much that tail weighs? I can tell you that it sounds a bit like a wind chime made of rocks. It also causes your pony to walk like a chicken!



Not only is that enormous mess extremely heavy and cumbersome, it also functions as a self twisting, tangling, braiding mechanism as each frozen glob swings around while the pony walks. What a mess!

No, I'm not heartless! We toted 3 buckets of hot, hot, hot water (1 soapy) down to the barn today and melted all of that mud out of his tail. So now instead of frozen globs of mud, pony has frozen conditioner in the end of his tail.

That's right- frozen! It was sooooo cold that his hot tail was freezing faster than I could dry it. The good news is, he'll never feel it as we only had to wash the end of his tail- all far below his tail bone. The Prince has his tail back tonight.

Oh! And the mohawk was clipped!

NO! I don't have a picture! Not only was his tail frozen. So were my poor FINGERS!

Here! You didn't see this yesterday either!



Isn't she Beeee-oooooo-ti-FUL! Doesn't that make you feel better?

;)