Earnest Hemingway once said that when you're having a hard time writing, start with one true statement.
Life is hard.
It is just simply hard.
Life has no respect for stages.
It is hard to be an infant and to be completely reliant on others for your needs. That is especially difficult for the neglected, abused and abandoned.
It is hard to be a child (although I rather relish my childhood as a time when life was easy). But there is a struggle to conform and comply without complete understanding.
It is terribly difficult to be a teenager- excruciating! No money in the world could get me to relive those years. The only value in that would be to correct the many mistakes I made. It is a time caught between childhood and adulthood that my own father has coined "the inhuman stage".
It is not easy to be a college student with the demand of decisions, assignments and responsibilities weighing you down. And the burden is further augmented by the constant reminder that "the direction of your life is dependent on the decision you make".
And then the school of "Real Life" looms ahead. And the twenty something stands at its gate armed with all the education packed in their bag and the misconception that they now "know how" (at least, that's what I thought). Why do we not warn them that they may have mastered the art of education but they are now beginners again as they enter this thing called "Real Life"? Life does not conform to text books. It just does NOT!
And truthfully, we never stop being beginners in this thing we call life.
I have not yet reached the latter years of life expectancy but one thing I am sure of is that life will continue to be hard. And as one who has always been rather independent, I've no doubt that an elderly return to dependency will not be easy.
Life is hard!! It's extremely hard.
And I've struggled with keeping up this blog for that very reason.
To open the curtains and allow others to peek in my window requires a willingness to be somewhat vulnerable. And life is already difficult without allowing others to look in.
And I don't want to sound like a constant dripping. I know all too well how whining can wear on the nerves. We need optimism and hope.
And quite frankly, my life is none of your business. You have your own life to deal with.
By opening my window, I become vulnerable to your opinions, your assumptions and possibly your criticism. Life is already hard enough.
We need camaraderie.
And as much as I have an aversion to being criticized, judged or looked poorly upon... and as often as I feel like locking the windows and closing the curtains... somehow, I still have this deep compelling urge to open the curtains (if only a crack) and unlock the window so that you can peek inside. So that you can see that indeed, my life is hard too.
Our family sits on the uncertainty of job security in an industry traveling through bankruptcy courts. And our cushion is a budget squeezed to choking (a product of our own decisions- mistakes and all). We're uncomfortable and yet we gain wisdom. We're concerned and even scared and yet we gain confidence. We're angry and yet we gain grace... compassion... understanding.
Because when I look around me I see a true statement:
Life is Hard.
For me, only one thing remains constant...
I cannot be separated from the Love of God.
-Romans 8:35-39
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