Usually at this point in the year, I've finished or am close to finishing our Christmas letters. They are sent out with the intention of saying "Hi" but also with the hope that the receiver will smile, laugh and still be a part of our lives 'tho distance sets us apart. This year... I began avoiding the task late in October. I
know why.
There hasn't been one moment when I haven't been fully aware of the reason. I still haven't written the letter. It's just not going to happen this year.
Writing the letter involves sharing the large details, events of our year. I attempt to make it a fun look back. Truthfully, it involves opening "the window" for all to look in.
This year, I don't want to open "the window". Opening that "window" involves an area of my heart that --- well, it just hurts. It's opening myself up in an area where a wound exists.
I've contemplated different ways to share this story. I even began putting together a web page last month, but quickly abandoned it. I guess I have a desire to tell the story. By telling the story, I can express the emotions that can't be expressed in a page full of facts and photos. And so, I'm opening "the window" here. I will lose some of you right from the beginning. Your eyes betray your distraction. They glaze over and I realize you're not interested and have wandered away mentally and emotionally. There's nothing wrong with that. In this format, you can simply navigate away and I'll never know. ;)
This is the story of a horse.
A dream that was tangible for only a short, short 7 months.
But that's the end of the story.
The beginning takes us back over a year. My dream horse. We set out to purchase her in 2005. A warmblood mare named Pholly (pronounced Folly, not polly). She is the kind of horse I've always dreamed of owning. Not only is she talented but she's consistent, smart, kind and willing. However, this isn't her story. Nope. This is the story of her foal- a colt named, Feinding Wisdom.
Part of our purchase agreement included a breeding to one of several stallions. We put a LOT of thought and energy into making the decision about which stallion to breed Pholly to. We talked about it at home. We discussed it with those knowing the horses involved. Our trainers and owners of the stallions gave us a picture of the likely results from each stallion. Finally, we settled on the picture we thought met our needs and dreams best. He is a son of a well known horse named, Feiner Stern. So in April of 2006, we set out in pursuit of our dream foal.
Now, breeding horses may seem like a straight forward, simple process. Put the stallion & mare together- ba.da.bing! Ba.da.boom! A foal is conceived! Right? Well... maybe... sometimes. Sometimes that's the process. In this case, the process was more involved. We're talking about two valuable animals who already have years of training invested in them. Simply throwing them together is risky. Horses are social creatures just like you and I. They have personalities. Those personalities don't always go together- ba.da.bing! Ba.da.boom! Ba.da..... BANG! Mare kicks the full-of-himself stallion and suddenly you're out a stallion. Or determined-to-be-THE-MAN stallion is too aggressive and suddenly you have a severely injured mare. There's all kinds of bad scenarios.
So to be safe, Pholly was bred using a method called insemination. This involved several ultrasounds to determine when the best time/times to inseminate her would be. Then the stallion would breed a dummy with Pholly standing near. After collecting from the stallion, Pholly was immediately inseminated. Another ultrasound several weeks later confirmed it. Pholly was in foal. Her due date was March 2007. That's right! Eleven months! So right away, we've already invested almost a year into a foal that hasn't hit the ground yet.
Some of you already know this, but I'll be the first to tell you that I am dedicated, obsessive, zealous, deeply invested, crazy- it's all a matter of perspective- about my pregnant mares. I watch and monitor them constantly. The last two months of their pregnancy, I drive my family nuts. I am determined to be there when they foal in order to try to avert disastrous results- losing a foal, mare or both- that can be avoided simply by being there to fix and/or help the situation. I sleep in the recliner with my alarm clock next to me. I peek regularly at the monitor where I can see inside my barn via camera. This goes on for weeks!
(sometimes months! )
So after months of planning and decision making, months of good care and monitoring, a good year of dreaming, the moment arrives! On February 28th, 2007, at 1:10 am (that's right! I was THERE! And I wasn't alone either ;) ) a foal is born. The very first thing that caught my attention... before he was even fully born- just a head had emerged... was that STAR on his face! It was beautiful! Wow! We didn't even know at that point if the foal was a colt or a filly but that STAR- just wow! What a beautiful head! What a beautiful face!
We had a name for a filly already. I figured it would then be a colt. I was right! It was a colt! A gorgeous, stunning colt who looked like his handsome sire (father) with a great mix of Pholly's qualities too. It took some time to settle on a name but in the end, we couldn't pass up the opportunity for such a perfect combination of sire (father) and dam (mother)- Feinding Wisdom. Affectionately, we referred to him as Solomon.
The effort, time and money invested had paid off. This was the best foal we'd ever had born. He had promise, potential and OH! what a personality! He was a gem!
He was a dream come true for us. And we allowed ourselves to continue dreaming about the future for this horse.(the laundry monster beckons! Responsibility calls!... to be continued)
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